Thursday, 15 April 2010

life is like a box of chocolates...

I got my hair cut today (I think that rajie got to me)

'just trim it back and leave it a bit longer at the front'

'oh sorry what was that? you want the same haircut as forrest gump you say?'

he obviously didn't say that BUT HE MIGHT ASWELL HAVE.

so if you don't see me for a while, check the back roads of alabama i'm getting my jog on.


I have nothing good to talk about lately as i'm spending my life revising,

BUT ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW b^2-4ac can tell you how many roots there are! JUST BY WHETHER THE ANSWER IS ABOVE, BELOW OR EQUAL TO ZERO?

i know what you're thinking, stop all the excitement now Dan i don't think i can take any more...

THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT, I LIKE GORDON OKAY?

even if he does look like he has bells palsy.

I can't comment on any of their policies or anything serious though I only made it about 40 minutes into their peddling of the same old rhetoric before DIY SOS seemed a better option.


Liam Foston telling his mam everyone had to shut their windows in case the Icelandic ash cloud got in and her believing him was comic gold.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Community Support Officer 9829 Gillian Gray Incident log

Statement of Mstr D Craig of North Shields


On the 14th of April 2010 at about 19:50 hours i was cycling through New York village in my finest chequered clothing and vintage footwear with my golden locks flowing through the air like the delightful strains of alex turners 1st symmphony - erstwhile known as 'mardy bum'

Then i was accosted by what could be described as a vile cretinous specimen of humanity outside of the New York and Murton working mens club (CIA affiliated)
The youth then proceeded to scream, 'HERE FUCK OFF MAN YA HIPPY, GET YA HAIR CUT' when i deigned to glance in his incandescent marlboro smoke filled lambrella clouded direction

His overall demeanor, appearance and lack of sophistication intimidated me and motivated me to change my gears up - even though i was travelling up a slight incline to ensure a safe and speedy escape from the situation

Saturday, 10 April 2010

RIP Malcolm McLaren

who's Malcolm McLaren?