Statement of Mstr D Craig of North Shields
On the 14th of April 2010 at about 19:50 hours i was cycling through New York village in my finest chequered clothing and vintage footwear with my golden locks flowing through the air like the delightful strains of alex turners 1st symmphony - erstwhile known as 'mardy bum'
Then i was accosted by what could be described as a vile cretinous specimen of humanity outside of the New York and Murton working mens club (CIA affiliated)
The youth then proceeded to scream, 'HERE FUCK OFF MAN YA HIPPY, GET YA HAIR CUT' when i deigned to glance in his incandescent marlboro smoke filled lambrella clouded direction
His overall demeanor, appearance and lack of sophistication intimidated me and motivated me to change my gears up - even though i was travelling up a slight incline to ensure a safe and speedy escape from the situation
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