I was accosted by a paedophile today, a small Indian man in a wheelchair who took it upon himself to try and put me in a wheelchair by crushing my shins against the side of the bus. It made me wonder if this is how they reproduce? he then vigorously rubbed my knee for longer than needed going 'SORRY LAD' I think we're now married.
Then an old man who looked like a mole asked me if I'd been to New Zealand, now this isn't something i often get asked on the bus so i just looked at him considering pretending to be polish, then realised he wasn't just staring at my crotch (this was descending into some sort of perverts day out...) and he was reading the canterbury logo, I think he thought they were some sort of souvenir? I ended up teaching him some Danish, we bonded.
Needless to say I'm never getting on the number 17 again.
on a brighter note.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-hate-bread-LOL-JK-im-Jamie-Willis/128660957150126
has to be the funniest thing on the internet.
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